Gonna Find Myself a Gunman
by Neish
Summary: Trigun/Excel Saga Xover fic. Excel is looking for work and finds an add about capturing our dear Vash the Stampede. She runs into him without knowing it and so now they are working together to find 'Vash'. *Chapter 2 up*
1. Shot by Man

  
  


A/N: I'm not expecting anyone to review this fic considering there are many Excel Saga fics on FF.net. But hopefully in some time people will begin to love the anime as much as I do. Oh well, enjoy.....  
  
D/C: I do not own Excel Saga or Trigun. Excel Saga and Trigun belongs to whoever blah blah blah....no suing me for I have little and maybe even no money.  
  


Poor Excel....She was broke once again and that damn dog Menchi was still hiding under the couch from Excel's pervious attempt to eat her. So with no money.....there was no food. And Hyatt was passed out somewhere in the apartment, Excel didn't really even care or notice. She was too hungry to notice!  
  
Excel picked up a newspaper and flipped through it looking for maybe an add or an odd job that could get her quick cash. Something caught her demonic-like green eyes suddenly.   
  
'Wanted Dead or Alive, Mysterious Gunman, Highly Dangerous.....Big Reward For His Capture.'  
  
Excel's eyes flashed like lighting as an idea hit her. She found herself a new job.....Capture/kill the mysterious gunman, known as "Vash the Stampede."   
  
"This is a wonderful job! I shall get rid of this horrible man who is poisoning Master Ilparazzo's perfect world AND get money for it!" Excel laughed like a maniac until her neighbor knocked furiously on the wall to make her shut up....it was after all 3:00 A.M....  
  
  
  
  
The next morning Excel set out in search of her mystifying gunman.....For what she knew of him. He liked doughnuts, women and bars. In the add, it also said he wore a long red trench coat and fashioned his hair kinda like a broom.   
  
"Gonna find myself a gunman....Gonna get myself some easy cash..." Excel sang off note as she skipped down the road. "Gonna get myself some food....Gonna make Ilparazzo proud!"   
  
"Excuse me Miss...got some spare change?" A man with a red coat slung over his shoulder asked. He had a bit of stubble on his face and his hair was drooping in his face but still looked no more then 25. Excel looked up at the man for he was quite tall. He gave her a playful smile and she smiled back.  
  
"Nope, I'm dead broke....I'm actually on the job now. You see..." Excel stopped and looked at the man for a moment. He put on a goofy grin and she continued "I'm looking for a wanted gunman so I can get some cash and maybe get some decent food....but above all, I'm helping my Master to cleanse the world of evil!" She whispered to him.

"Oh wow! You lead such an exciting life! Would you mind if I joined you so when you capture this man and when you have spare change you can pass it onto me!?" He asked with hope in his aqua-green eyes.  
  
"Hrmmm... Ilparazzo-Sama probably wouldn't mind another follower....But I get the money from this job. We'll call this one your training session!" Excel smiled to her new companion. He agreed and followed her down the road.  
  
"So where to, Miss?"  
  
"Just call me Excel! We're going to a bar, this gunman I'm after likes drinking and women! " She explained.   
  
"Ok Excel! .....So . . . How will you capture this man?"

"I'm gonna kill him..." Excel said promptly.  
  
"....Oh...." Gulped the stranger.  
  
"Hey, what is your name anyway?"  
  
"My name is....Err....Vashu!" He smiled. Excel thought nothing of the name and continued on her way.

They walked into an old rundown bar, it looked hardly clean or sanitary but neither of them complained. They took a seat in a booth at the far end of the bar and observed all the drunken men around them. Vashu fingered with his tan colored hair and Excel held her stomach as it grumbled for food.

"I neeeedddd foooooodddd...." Excel lamented like a baby. She couldn't help looking at the cat that sat on the bar next to the bartender who was probably its owner as well. It looked so plump and juicy....

"I know what you mean!" Vashu sniffled. "I'm sooo hungry....when do you think you'll find this gunman?" 

"I dunno but if I want to continue living I gotta e-..."Something caught Excel's eyes. She promptly made her way over to the cat and licked her lips. Vashu wondered if she was going to eat the cat but just as it seemed like the showdown between Excel and the cat looked like it was coming to a close, Excel launched herself at the cat food next to the feline and stuffed it in her mouth.

"HEY! Miss! That isn't food for humans!" The bartender yelled at her and pried her away from the cat food.

"HUUUUUNGRY!!!" Excel raged and thrashed out at the man. He stumbled back and fumbled for a gun placed under the counter. Excel's eyes flashed with a wickedness only known to be seen in a ravenous beast. She leapt at the man with catlike abilities just as he pulled the trigger.

*BAM! *

Excel laid sprawled over the counter...her blood dripping to the floor. Vashu jumped up and ran to her but...she was dead....

"You killed her!" Vashu yelled, he stood in disbelief. The girl laid in her own crimson blood, her orange hair soaking in up and wiped it away as she slipped to the stone floor. 

"I-I...she attacked me! He-here, I'll give you 300$ just....just get her outa here and never speak of this again."

Vashu thought this over. That poor girl died, right in front of him, she was just....there. "How dare you bribe me! You killed that poor girl! She's DEAD!" Vashu yelled at the man. Vashu picked Excel up in his arms and carried her out without the money.

"What am I going to do now!? I have a dead body in my arms!" Vashu gulped. 

"What dead body?" Excel said raising her head up and looked at Vashu. "Thanks Iz-chan!" Excel waved to a passing blue thing-y. 

"Weee...BHUWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Vashu screamed and dropped Excel on her ass. He started poking at her, she sat there quietly as he inspected her. "You- You're not DEAD!?!?"

"I was dead...but I can't die now, this fanfic hardly has gotten into the plot. There is too much to do for Ruby-Err...Ilparazzo-sama! I shall do everything in my power to fulfil Ilparazzo-sama's desires! Even if that means death. Death by poison!" she paused and drank a bottle with 'poison' written on it. "Death by Voodoo!" pokes a voodoo doll of herself in the head with a pin. "Or even by the pains of being in love with my master, Ilparazzo-sama!" little hearts spun around her as chibi Ilparazzo's danced.

"Wow, you're the kind of girl who should devote herself to working for Knives or Legato...." Vashu had kawaii spiny eyes.

"Enough talking! We, the great servants of Across must finish our mission for our great master! Onward!" cried Excel as she skipped through the streets. Vashu followed not to far behind. 

  
  


~*~*~*~

First chapter done. I love Excel saga and though it would be fun to do a crossover with Trigun. ^_^ Can't get much more psycho then my mind.....Ja ne! R/R!


	2. Hit by Car

  
  
  
  


A/N: I think I should give ppl a bit of background info about Excel Saga. It'll help to understand this fic better and what's better then having the characters from the show explain themselves for you?  
  
Excel: My name is Excel! I am the first member of 'Across', a secret organization that Ilparazzo-sama put together to cleans the world! Some say I have en infatuation with Ilparazzo-sama but I call it undying devotion!  
  
Ilparazzo: I am the great Ilparazzo, as Excel said, I am the leader of 'Across'. I sit around all day and tell Hyatt and Excel what to do.  
  
Hyatt: I am Hyatt, I'm really a space princess but I joined 'Across' somehow and now I wo-*cough cough hack hack* woooork...for Il-Ilparazzz...zzz...*hack cough, falls to the floor passed out*   
  
Menchi: Oiwww..oiw...owi owi oiw oiw...Yip! Yip!! Yiiiiiip! Oiw...oiw... (Translation: My name is Menchi, the cute little dog that Excel keeps for emergency food...SAVE ME SAVE ME! Please?)  
  
Iz-chan: I am Iz-chan, I bring Excel and anyone else that dies back to life with my mystical powers...Yes, I'm a blue floating thing with arms....  
  
Nabeshin: The great Nabeshin has yet to be mentioned in this fic!? No matter! I am Nabeshin! The man with the 'fro' you'll see me later in this fic...that is if Ruby writes a part for me.   
  
Vashu: My real name is Vash the Stampede if you were gullible enough to believe I was just a guy named 'Vashu'....let's hope that crazy girl doesn't realize who I really am....o_O.'  
  
Ruby: Anyway....you now know a bit about who is who so lets continue on our way where we left off last.....  
  
  
  
  
"Errr....Excel-San, where are we going?" Vashu asked.   
  
"We are....going....to...." Excel trailed off....  
  
"We are.....going...to....what?" Vashu repeated.  
  
"WE ARE GOING TO 'ACROSS' HEADQUARTERS!" Excel laughed frantically as she skipped in the middle of the road.  
  
"Ok...sounds good but I think you should get out of the middle of the road..." Vashu warned her.  
  
"Huh?" Excel turned to Vashu and blinked. " What do you mean by tha-"   
  
*BAM*  
  
Excel laid flattened in the road. The driver of the car stopped and got out. "OH MY GOD! I HIT THIS GIRL! I KILLED HER!!!."  
  
Vashu walked over and sighed. "That's ok...she'll be fine."   
  
"What do you mean!??! She's dead!!!!"  
  
"Yeah but give her a few minutes....She'll be ok...."

"Who'll be ok?" Excel blinked and got up. She brushed herself off and fixed her hair. "Her mister....you don't look so good you should maybe sit down and close your mouth...."   
  
The driver stood there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes like plates. Then suddenly he fell over and died.  
  
"Wow...you scared him to death...." Vashu stated bluntly.   
  
"....Iz-chan?"   
  
"Right here, Excel...I shall revive this poor man so he can be on his way to be fired at work and then find out his wife has been sleeping with his best friend and that his son wants to run away to the circus so he can train turtles how to juggle." Iz-chan waved her hand and the man got up. He blinked and looked at Excel.   
  
"Oh dear...I must have dreamt all that...Well I'll be on my way to work and then after I shall go home to my wife and then have a man-to-man talk with my son about the importance of getting a respectable job....if all goes well today." He smiled to Vashu and Excel then got in his car and drove away.  
  
"JA NE!!!" Excel called after him as he left. "What a nice man he was....I hope he has a nice day." ^_^  
  
"For some reason I think you put curses on everyone you meet...." Vashu gulped.  
  
"Huh? What do you mean by that?" Excel blinked.   
  
"Ah....never mind...Which way to 'Across' headquarters?"  
  
"This way!" Excel giggled and dragged Vashu with her.  
  
  
Upon arriving at 'Across' headquarters....  
  
"HAIL ILPARAZZO-SAMA!!!!" Excel chirped. "Oh great master, I have a new member who shall help us take over the world and cleanse it of all evil and as we do such we are looking for a mysterious gunman so we can get money to eat so we can fulfil our duties even more so!"   
  
"...." Ilparazzo took a moment to register everything Excel babbled about. "Very well Excel and newcomer."  
  
"Wow! You really have a neat place here...." Vashu commented.  
  
"Hrmmm....Excel and newcomer, I have a job for you to do....Excel, you have bathroom duty and newcomer..."  
  
"Vashu"   
  
"Va-shu? "  
  
"My name is Vashu!" he smiled and made the most anime marked move of all times....the peace pose.  
  
"Very well, Vashu....I need you to bring me the blueprints of a laser that are in the Hikitomosu building."  
  
"Err....ok Ilparazzo...." Vashu sweatdropped. At least Excel was busy with bathroom duty instead of hunting him down.   
  
"I shall clean the bathrooms Ilparazzo-Sama! Anything for you! Ask me to jump off the world and I shall do so! Ask me to eat glass and that I shall do it without flinching! Ask me to kill and I WILL KILL!!! I am your most faithful servant! I live only to serve and do your utter most demanding tasks! I give you my life and my soul! My heart and my lungs! My mind and

my body!!!!" Excel continued dramatically on for a few minutes....not that Ilparazzo payed her any attention....

She babbled on and on until finally, the very annoyed Ilparazzo pulled a cord and down went Excel through a trap door. Not that it made her shut up or anything. She continued pledging herself to Ilparazzo until she hit the bottom moments later.

"I think I should invest in a muzzle for that girl...." Ilparazzo rubbed him temples.

  
  


~*~*~*~

I think poor Ilparazzo-sama should look into buying a shock collar for her....hehehehe....new idea!

Excel: What? You don't mean....

Vashu: I hope that's what she means....You need to lay off the pep pills @_@'

Ruby: I agree....Maybe we should look into getting her some ritalin too....

Vash: Sounds good.....anyway r/r!


End file.
